top of page
Recent Posts
Featured Posts

How to Lose Friends and Not Let People Influence You; A Step by Step Process for Getting Better this

What’s wrong? Not achieving what you want.

Going to set some New Year’s resolutions that will make everything better? Of course, you are. Just like last year and every other year before.

Or, maybe this is the year you truly do something different. If it is and you are ready I have a couple of tips for you. It is not that hard if you just follow 8 routines.

It really comes down to one simple concept. Upgrade your friends. I know, you love them. There is so much history and mutual understanding. The truth is though, you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you want to be better spend more time with people better then you. Here are some tips on how to achieve this and let the right people influence you.

1. Start a Forum

I have been a member of 3 forums in my life. Two I helped start with people of mutual interests and the other was a forum through the Entrepreneur Organization. A forum is a group of people that meet on a set schedule with an agenda to discuss topics of mutual interest. The current forum I am in meets on the same day every month with a simple dinner discussion agenda. Everyone gets around 5 minutes a topic to discuss 3 items. The First round, “What is something you learned this month that you can share with the forum that they can benefit from?” Next, “What is something you need feedback from the forum on?” Finally, “What is something that has happened to you in the last month that the forum needs to know about?” We do this meeting on the same day every month at the same place to keep it easy. I and another trusted colleague started this together and oversee the invites. We invite people that have interest that we think will benefit the group. We strive for between 8 to 12 attendees.

2. Send Lunch Invites

We have all heard the phrase “Never Eat Alone.” There is a lot of truth in that saying. The best strategy for making this happen is to send the invites for lunch every week in advance. If people decline you still have time to find someone else to fill in. Schedule lunches with people that can push you and that you can contribute to as well. Put on your schedule a reoccurring time every week when you send out the invites in advance with the time and places set. Be sure and have some regular colleagues that you keep on the rotation that you know are into that sort of time investment.

3. Get a Mentor

There are many associations that can provide mentorship opportunities for you. My most beneficial mentors have come from seeking out senior people in my industry that have been successful and like to give back. Tell them up front that you want to come to them for perspective and advice and that you would like to meet with them for lunch on a regular basis to learn from them.

4. Hire a Coach

The best performers in sports all have coaches. Why is that? Because they know that if you want to get better in the most efficient way possible put your money and time into getting coached by someone who can give you the perspective, insights and practices that will make you better if you do what they say.

5. Join a Professional Association

Every industry has an association where people come together for mutual education, networking and socialization. If your industry does not have one in your area then start one. Nothing will catapult you to the top of your field like starting or becoming a leader in your local and then international professional association.

6. Spend Money and Time on Your Personal Development

You spend or invest money every day. You have heard the saying, “The best investment you can make is in yourself.” It is true. The real secret is in the spending. If you make a financial commitment to something you will be much more likely to take it seriously. Look at the upcoming educational opportunities in your area and in your field and sign up for them now. Book the hotel and airfare now to make it concrete. Make the decision now that makes everything else happen before you feel overwhelmed. Book it!

7. Get an Accountability Partner

Find someone that has a similar drive as you and that is not scared to call you out if you don’t do what you say. Set up a daily call with this person at a set time where you go over a set agenda. The agenda can be as simple as, “Who have you written a thank you note to today?” “What are you concerned about today?” “What is the one thing you commit to do today that will make a significant difference in your life?” Journal your answers to these questions and journal your partners and then hold them accountable and make sure they hold you accountable as well.

8. The Final Step is to Set a Public Detailed Plan for the Quarter

Once a quarter sit down with some trusted colleagues for half a day and do a SWOT analysis on each other. Go over every ones Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. Store the results in a permanent place like and use the results to create a detailed measurable plan with clear dates and numbers tied to each step for the quarterly outcome. For instance you might end up with something that sounds like this, “Based on the SWOT analysis done on you, you see that for the next quarter you need to raise your monthly income by $1,000 a month. So, you are going to sign up to drive for Lyft every weekend and work until you make $250 a weekend. You are going to post your progress in for you SWOT analysis colleagues to see and update it weekly. If you fail to keep your commitments you realize that your colleagues may replace me in the quarterly planning group."

It’s simple, but it does take disciplined and focused execution. Do these 8 things and I guarantee you will exponentially improve your life in the upcoming year. Make the calls and schedule the steps now.

No, really, right now!

-Gene Robertson


bottom of page